Dear Diary.

Confessions of an ugly duckling Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I remember when I chanced upon our old photo album -- the ones that had my childhood pictures in them and in it I found something so distrubing. I closed it and instinctly shoved it back in the farthest corner of the cabinet.

On the flap was what had to be the worst picture of me. Bad hair, goofy smile, bad outfit -- it had to be some camera fluke. I SO did not look like that. In an attmept to redeem myself, I browsed through the pages of my photo album from grade school and there they were: Dark complexion, bad smile, Coarse and wavy hair. It was an epiphany that threatened to change my life: sad to say but, I was not a very good looking Kid.

All of a sudden, the mysteries of my childhood were puzzles no more. Why would boys always play touchball with me but never apologize if they hit me too hard with the ball or treat me after the game like they did for my long-haired and pretty classmate.

The funny thing is, I only had the best memories of my childhood. I was active in a lot of clubs, played a lot of sports and was recognized for my talents. But upon seeing my childhood photos, I suddenly felt abashed even cheated. I wonder if my pretty classmates would talk and laugh about how i look. I wonder if the boys I played with ever laughed at me behind my back.

It was when I was in junior highschool, I looked at the mirror and said "I think it's time for a change". I decided not to be the girl everyone would forget as soon as they step out of highschool and prove that I can be somehow, one of the "It" girls on campus. It was then that I discovered "I can be pretty" somehow and all I need is a little improvement.

Time passed by and little by little, I finally outgrown that akward, boyish girl with a bad look. I realized that I'm not an ugly duckling that turned into a swan but a girl who realized that she's beautiful after all.

Nowadays, I don't shy away from cameras anymore -- In fact, I want to take pictures of myself as many as I can.

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